An Independent Woman.

Something to aspire to?

We sing songs about it, wear the badge proudly, teach our daughters….


Where exactly, in the Word, is this concept?

(Hint….it’s not!)

In the world, yes.

In the Word, no.   It’s not in His plan.

It’s a lie. A lie we have bought in to hook, line and sinker.

We are told and taught we should not  depend on any man. And that much is true…to some degree.

Our dependence should be on God.

Not on any man….at least not in full.

And definitely not on ourselves.

Not a popular opinion, I know. But not just my own either.

It is the way God created us…wired us.

And listen, this is coming from a single mom who raised three kids with precious little help from any man. I was forced to pick up slack. I had to juggle more than I ever thought possible.

Was it stressful? Hard? Completely overwhelming?


And why?

Because I was not created to carry such a load by myself! 

What an incredibly free-ing moment when I finally saw that I was not a failure!

What is failed is the notion that any woman can—and should—aspire to ‘do it all.’

Go ahead, grit your teeth and tell me I’m trying to set women back to the dark ages.

I will politely disagree.

I’d like to see us catapult into a ‘light age’—where dark lies no longer hold us hostage and men and women know the roles for which they were created, and live in them.

Men…..Husbands love your wives as Christ loves the Church.

Women….Wives submit….

Oh….OH…..wait! Oh, that word! THAT. WORD. Submit! Submit!?!?!

We have become so afraid of that word!

It has become a ‘bad’ word. A bad idea. A bad joke. Just bad….

But wait….Who said we should submit?

Only the One who created us. The One who never changes. The One we say we are submitting to…..

The hard truth is we can’t pick and choose what we will submit to when it comes to following God.

It’s all or nothing. Hot or cold. No double-minded-ness. No lukewarm-ness.

We can follow God or we can follow culture. It’s a choice we have to make every single day, in many areas.

I am a single woman. I am not dependent on any man.

I am also not independent. I am not dependent on myself. (I’ve tried it. It’s exhausting and ultimately futile!)

I am not ashamed or afraid to tell you I am completely, utterly, desperately dependent on God.

I submit to Him. Because I trust He knows best….

7 thoughts on “I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T.

  1. I am writing a book entitled “Head of the House.” The answer is what you might expect but with a twist. It isn’t either the husband or the wife … ultimately. With your permission, I would like to post this on my aspiring blog. Also, I may wish to refer to this in the book, possibly quote some of all of it.

    Please let me know if these are acceptable to you.

    My blog is new and in the process of my figuring out how to make it a useful tool for others. The address is, Ken Pepper, Blog. kenpepperwriter@wordpress.com


    1. Ken, thank you for reading and taking the time to comment.
      I would be humbly honored if you shared my post on your blog and/or used it in your book!
      This is how the Body of Christ should work…together toward the common goal of sharing His truth to people searching for answers!
      Blessings to you


  2. You are so right, but that is a hard topic… Most people establish and define their independence after hurt, heartbreak and disappointment! I have a saying, “I trust everyone until they give me a reason not to” and that goes for dependence too! Honestly, I think that’s why a lot of people worry and stress… We trust God, but we don’t trust the people he chooses to use. We all know God has a sense of humor and will use the very same person who has lied to us, hurt us, disappointed us… the same person who swore they were never helping another soul. “He will make even our enemies our footstool…” Now, one question: if God never intended for us to be independent, why does He call some with great ministries to become isolated? I get that He wants us to learn to solely trust and depend on Him, but would be the message to us concerning others?

    Love you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It is a hard topic. But I think an important one. I think when we buy into the lie that we can (and should) do it all, we undermine the plan of God. We not only make it more difficult for men, but more than that, we fall into a prideful attitude….and we know where that leads to!
      I absolutely agree with God’s sense of humor in things!
      As far as your question goes, I don’t have the answer. It’s something to prayerfully consider.
      Love you back girl!

      Liked by 1 person

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